I decided to write this blog to share my thoughts and observations on codependency and how it has affected my relationships and mental health.
Thrashing my heart,
The depth of my soul
Into the wall.
Trigger warning: This poem contains trauma content. I’m learning to not be afraid anymore.
Splitting is a defense mechanism often used by people who suffer from BPD or other trauma to turn a situation into a complete black or white situation to cope with pain or suffering.
Your fingers squeeze my organs
Like a baby’s loving grasp,
Holding with gentle trust.
Who is this ambiguous figure
That contorts and lingers into
Green, eyes pried to the side
For intended hurt pride;
Our feet were dirty with sand
as we danced
hand in hand; we laughed
like two kittens
bitten by euphoria,
an original story
of crush-smitten children.
Sexuality is a complicated subject for me. I grew up very sheltered and innocent, so sex has long been associated with shame and fear in my mind. When I began to come of age, I interpreted my yearnings and urges to be a longing for love. I associated sensuality and affection for acts of love…Read more »
What is it to yearn?
I’ve learned that a touch, a caress
Can be the most painful of sensations.
Dissociation is a Psychology term for a group of symptoms, usually caused by trauma, that include depersonalization, amnesia, feelings of numbness and disengagement.
I may be defective, but I will try and try again, forever.
Guilt is a very intense emotion that I feel for almost every aspect of my life. I know that intense feelings of guilt and shame aren’t limited to people with BPD, but are common feelings for people with chronic depression as well. I’ve often heard people say “guilt and shame are good, they’re what…Read more »
I decided to write this blog to share my thoughts and observations on codependency and how it has affected my relationships and mental health. My Relationship With Codependency