It’s Complicated

Why is it that people are so complicated?

And by people, I mean me.

What do I want? How do I feel? Where am I going?

Why do I feel this way today, and another way tomorrow, when nothing has changed?

But everything has.

People are always changing. I am always changing.

Is this why life is so fucking hard? Because as soon as I get used to people, a job, a situation, my own mind; everything gets flipped on it’s underside, twisted, and tangled and completely transformed?

I’m lonely in a crowded room and overwhelmed in silent emptiness.

I want to experience new things and new people but then I look for things I already have.

Why is it that I’m looking for you in other people?

I don’t know how it is that you deal with me. I’m multiple people trying to be one person.

But you do. Not only do you deal with me, you love me. You love me even though I’m fucked up. Even though I’m crazy. Even though I pull myself in a hundred different directions and I tear your heart apart with me. But you let me. You let me be me. And you love me for it.

You let me be wild. You let me be impulsive. And look where I am now. I’ve grown from the frightened broken spirit into a fiery dragon. Because of you.

Even though I am untamed, independent, and unruly, I don’t forget why. I don’t forget where I came from, or how you found me.

There is no shallow pleasure or material treasure that can make me forget that.

Nontraditional, unconventional, unpredictable. Only you and I can understand.

 

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