Heavy

Encircling bluebirds silenced, asphyxiated.

Their muted songs are suffocated.

I’m nauseated by the insatiable hunger for undeserved affection.

Smother my powerless gaze as I sink into your dream song.

Succumb to the listless music of voices too close to see, and too far to touch.

Float in ambiguity buried by the heaviness of disorientation.

Kiss me with the ghost lips of reciprocated love.

Hold me in the fairytale of genuine adoration.

Believe anything when the water is deep with never-ending sighs.

Write my name in the clouds and devour it; let it rain onto the ground through your tears.

I’ll become the mud that I choke on in my sleep.

I’ll leave and pretend to go home to the gaping hole in the pink of my eyes.

It will flutter and hum, a lullaby of purring heartbeats that melt into the strawberries and cream of morning kisses.

I’ll cut myself open, let you crawl inside and sleep next to my heart.

Lavender bones ache in nostalgia for nonexistent memories; paint them with your dreams and sing me to sleep too.

But this blanket is much too heavy,

and I’ll ask to be loved but I’ll choke on the words before you ever get to hear them.

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