Poetry: Love is a Greedy Bitch

Who is this ambiguous figure 

That contorts and lingers into 

Green, eyes pried to the side 

For intended hurt pride;

Love is a Greedy Bitch

 

Who is this ambiguous figure 

That contorts and lingers into 

Green, eyes pried to the side 

For intended hurt pride; but why

This arbitrary imagination

Hell-bent on contradiction, married

To the condition of jealous remorse

Through inner discourse of feverishly

Gritting rage? I prepare for my stage, 

A psychotic cage of hot rod iron bars

That feed the Harpy fire.

 

The existence of others can smother

My nose with rosy aromas of envied

Femininity. How I wish to be small 

And dainty, painted in pinks and whites,

With the frailty of delicate daisies. 

How I love to hate me

Through the assumption that my

Plump lumbering body is only

Rigid and bulky in masculine

Inclinations to command eyes

Through hallucinations of a 

Livestock prize. 

 

Hearing voices as soft as

Down pillows of swans’ grace, 

I bury my face in swallows 

Of bellows, my singing as cringey

And deep as a dumbfounded sheep. 

It makes me creep so, 

Beneath the sand where I hide

My head from the dread that

I might just be fevered enough

To project my obscure pain, 

Once again, through some insecure

Brain-less desire to leech pleasure

From anything, everything, wanting

All eyes on me; but closed, a torn 

Dichotomy of desires inspired 

By the lies, the emotional lobotomy

Of esteem I suffered when I was reduced

From stallion to steed. 

 

But I will try again, you see; 

My compassion is much more

Greedy than my jealousy. 

I can love those I fear. I reside

On shores that envy the waves, 

But can still adore the ocean’s

Amazing beauty. I know how to 

Live with duality, so here I’ll stay

And paint my days with my blues,

Purples, and blacks; I know that

I don’t lack individuality. I’ll learn

To use my melancholy tears to sheer

The scars from sharp words that

Told me I was ugly. Look for me

In the forest of gray clouds

And shrouded rain fantasies.

by Angela Castillo (2019) 

2 thoughts on “Poetry: Love is a Greedy Bitch

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