Coming Home to You

 

Your fingers squeeze my organs

Like a baby’s loving grasp,

Reactive, Instinctive,

Holding with gentle trust. 

I gasp for your smell,

Telling you to squeeze

Harder

Ease this lingering sense

Of forlorn presence torn 

From my collapsing

Body yelling for sublime

Time-twisting shining 

Knives to end me before

Forever and after never. 

 

Gentle;

You make hard gentle,

You make tearing gentle,

You make terror gentle. 

 

Your fingers;

I want them to penetrate 

Hematomas in my heart

Rub them to alleviate

The balls of gulps, 

Flesh bubbles of nausea from 

Holding in so many screams. 

Your hair could seam the gaping 

Holes where they raped me. 

Your kiss soothes like a cool sunrise

After a summer night of binge drinking. 

Eyelashes wink teasing kisses;

I want more of the elixir you pour.

 

Squeeze me until I wheeze and pop, 

Shed these scales and cough up

Flaming flem of internal rot. 

I’m not afraid, not anymore;

You’ve peeled me to the core. 

I bleed but lose no blood. 

I’m freed by my ability to love you.

Coming Home

Poem and Art by Angela Castillo (2019) 

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