*Trigger warning: This poem depicts some images of sexual trauma
to smother this heat-pressed mess
of misunderstood redundancies with more memories?
Necessary understanding of unnecessary reprimanding
for feeling hurt for things that already happened;
So they did, those dumb kids, get over it.
the time slows and then speeds over
dark-skinned boys with reaching hands,
grabbing greedily at my arms and pants;
Silently I stand in petrified confusion
at the kiss you stole from me
through the open window of her car
that left an invisible scar that migrated
to the insulated lumps in my throat.
Laughter from everyone but me; how
could you see inside me, to believe that
the small thing you did, so cutely candid,
actually disgusted me?
Or what about you (I mix up the two)
alone in your room, how stupid to trust you.
Pulling again, fingers slipping in, as I push out.
No. I’m hurting, please stop.
Pushing, pulling, I’m trying to cover up
but no matter how many clothes I put on,
I can feel your eyes burning through
as I recluse, but I can’t escape your invisible hand
on the nape of my neck.
Down, push down, no i said no.It’s wet and
I don’t know
what to do, why am I here?
please let me go.
Young romance; I missed you somehow,
because kisses have never been
romantic nor given;
Young love; just a naive fantasy,
from me, they had so selfishly