Dissociation is a Psychology term for a group of symptoms, usually caused by trauma, that include depersonalization, amnesia, feelings of numbness and disengagement.
Unfamiliar are the whispers that drone the air.
My hair gently brushes cheek to tickle lashes,
My fickle happiness no longer a slashing wind-
Tunnel funneling smiles into putrid bile.
No, I just might stay here a while….
I may be defective, but I will try and try again, forever.
Ripples A single Seed Of water plucks Harp strings; Liquid flutters Like blooming kisses Of bubble music. Feet feel Slippery rocks Beneath; Smoothed by souls Before me, But not so many To grate them to sand. Pressure Like the lumps In my throat; Every stone a Gag in my step Until I reach Sand submerged…Read more »
please make them stop They follow As I swallow gulps of hazy regrets Set in the unsettling of my stomach When my back gets wet and mouth dry In a heaving crying sigh of longing For relief. I want to keep the fantasy Alive, striving to sleep at night, Unmoved by the black spirits That…Read more »
Guilt is a very intense emotion that I feel for almost every aspect of my life. I know that intense feelings of guilt and shame aren’t limited to people with BPD, but are common feelings for people with chronic depression as well. I’ve often heard people say “guilt and shame are good, they’re what…Read more »
Happiness has always been a complex idea for me. It’s always seemed like a fantasy or facade, something that was fleeting or a mirage of premature hope. I know that sounds pretty morbid, but the relieving part is that I’m learning that this very real fear and distrust of happiness is something very strongly linked…Read more »
I used to think that fighting was normal in any type of relationship. I used to think that yelling and throwing things and saying horrible things to each other was part of sharing your life with someone. So when I would become terrified of yelling, crumble at being called a dumb bitch or a ridiculous…Read more »
It’s been a while since I wrote directly here. I started this blog to document and share my battle with trying to be successful with anxiety and mental illness. When I started this blog three years ago, I had no idea where it would take me. I had started it because something inside of me…Read more »
Peering into reflective walls once again; repetition or replay, who is to say? Crimson flames sprout from Emerald blades; Cerulean waves crash into Purple plush. Twilight mirrors the ocean of Desires; fractured prisms refract disjointed Trust. The whirlpool begins as I’m drawn in; All hues allude to what I once knew; They spin and turn…Read more »