Crashing smashing
Claws slashing
Teeth gnashing
Thrashing my heart,
The depth of my soul
Into the wall.
Poetry: Split
Posted by in Personl Blog, Poetry Category: Personl Blog
Posted by in Personl Blog, Poetry Poetry: First Kiss(es)?
Posted by in Personl Blog, Poetry Trigger warning: This poem contains trauma content. I’m learning to not be afraid anymore.
My BPD: Splitting
Posted by in Personl Blog Splitting is a defense mechanism often used by people who suffer from BPD or other trauma to turn a situation into a complete black or white situation to cope with pain or suffering.
Love Poem: Coming Home to You
Posted by in Personl Blog, Poetry Your fingers squeeze my organs
Like a baby’s loving grasp,
Reactive, Instinctive,
Holding with gentle trust.
The Dichotomy of Sexuality and Self-Esteem
Posted by in Personl Blog Sexuality is a complicated subject for me. I grew up very sheltered and innocent, so sex has long been associated with shame and fear in my mind. When I began to come of age, I interpreted my yearnings and urges to be a longing for love. I associated sensuality and affection for acts of love…Read more »
Mental Illness Awareness Week: Dissociation
Posted by in Personl Blog, Poetry Dissociation is a Psychology term for a group of symptoms, usually caused by trauma, that include depersonalization, amnesia, feelings of numbness and disengagement.
Poetry: please make them stop
Posted by in Personl Blog please make them stop They follow As I swallow gulps of hazy regrets Set in the unsettling of my stomach When my back gets wet and mouth dry In a heaving crying sigh of longing For relief. I want to keep the fantasy Alive, striving to sleep at night, Unmoved by the black spirits That…Read more »
Depression and BPD: Coping with Guilt
Posted by in Personl Blog Guilt is a very intense emotion that I feel for almost every aspect of my life. I know that intense feelings of guilt and shame aren’t limited to people with BPD, but are common feelings for people with chronic depression as well. I’ve often heard people say “guilt and shame are good, they’re what…Read more »
BPD: Happiness is a Warm Gun [Trigger]
Posted by in Personl Blog Happiness has always been a complex idea for me. It’s always seemed like a fantasy or facade, something that was fleeting or a mirage of premature hope. I know that sounds pretty morbid, but the relieving part is that I’m learning that this very real fear and distrust of happiness is something very strongly linked…Read more »
Misunderstanding vs Fighting
Posted by in Personl Blog I used to think that fighting was normal in any type of relationship. I used to think that yelling and throwing things and saying horrible things to each other was part of sharing your life with someone. So when I would become terrified of yelling, crumble at being called a dumb bitch or a ridiculous…Read more »
